http://childdevelopmentsite.com/ Articles at Child Development Site en-us http://childdevelopmentsite.com/special-needs/dads-and-autism-how-to-stay-in-the-game.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/special-needs/dads-and-autism-how-to-stay-in-the-game.html Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:41:07 -0500
This is where the new book Dads and Autism: How to Stay in the Game, (www.dadsandautism.com) from Altruist Publishing separates itself from the pack. The author, Emerson Donnell experienced the heartbreaking distance in his son's eyes first hand. When coming home at the end of the day there was no acknowledgement of his arrival, no recognition or want of affection that children and parents naturally crave. But instead of giving up and departing as so many fathers do, Donnell decided to do something about it.

"For me, the greatest heartache was not being able to connect with my son. In speaking with other fathers I soon found I wasn't alone, but there is so little out there to help with this issue. I realized that developing proper affectionate behaviors in my son was more important than teaching him how to properly use a spoon or match colors. I needed to break through the grey shell of autism and steal back my son's humanity."

Through a great amount of research and trial and error, Donnell established a systematic program specifically designed to elicit proper emotion and affectionate behaviors to enable a more healthy family dynamic. These therapies are derived as a hybrid of Greenspan and ABA. Subscribing to the mantra of Greenspan, Donnell realized the importance of first establishing yourself as a relevant figure in your child's world. But to put this on the fast track, he employed ABA trials. Donnell terms them DAT's or "Discrete Affectionate Trials." The trials focus on very specific behaviors that revolve around developing proper emotion, affection and a loving family dynamic. "They have had a profound effect on Little Emerson, from developing independent affectionate family greetings, interactive play, potty training, negating temper tantrums, developing speech and even appropriately opening and enjoying birthday gifts."

"Parents shouldn't necessarily expect affectionate behaviors to be taught by therapists directly to the children. I believe these therapies are best coached to the parents who can then exercise them with their children in the comfort of their home."

Donnell continues to emphasize how important it is to include affectionate therapy in an autistic child's regimen. "Developing affection in your children can arguably be the most important therapy a child first receives as it addresses many issues all at once. Teaching parents to develop bonds and proper affection in their children nurtures a more natural relationship between the parent and child. This makes other forms of therapy more effective because now the child is drawn out of their world and more emotionally attached to their parents, therefore they are more receptive towards learning. Teaching how to develop bonds keep dads "in the game" and may help lower the eighty percent divorce rate as well. And finally, recent studies have found that when fathers stayed in the marriage and learned to connect, the children's vocabulary typically increased by fifty percent."

"Less than twenty months ago Little Emerson refused to acknowledge my presence at all. Today he will independently come running with his arms open for hugs when I walk through the door at night. To say this is a catharsis in my son's behavior is an understatement." Donnell has had such success in enabling his son's affectionate side to blossom that he is compelled to share these strategies. "At the end of the day it's his bright eyes, smiles and hugs that keep me motivated to help others experience the same progress."
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