http://childdevelopmentsite.com/ Articles at Child Development Site en-us http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/the-attitude-of-gratitude-a%80-5-ways-to-develop-it_1.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/the-attitude-of-gratitude-a%80-5-ways-to-develop-it_1.html Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:41:40 -0500
What is gratitude? Gratitude is "the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful." It comes from the Latin word gratia meaning favour, pleasing. Gratefulness broken down can read Great Fullness.

Gratitude is a choice. It doesn’t come easily to us. Most of us were taught as children to say “thank you” when someone gave us a present or did something nice for us. After a while the thank you can become quite glib unless we learn ways to cultivate the attitude of gratitude.

If you are a parent, instead of just telling your children that they need to say thank you for something nice that someone did for them, explain to them that the person thought of them and took the time to get them that present or did that nice thing for them. This way it is less likely for them to do it by rote or obligation.

Model this yourself and let your child know how grateful you are for them and for everything in your life. Children notice and are aware of everything, and they will imitate whatever you do, so it goes without saying that they will learn from your example.

Gratitude is also a skill and it is never too late to learn a skill. Teach your children that it only takes a moment of opening their eyes to see all the blessings around them. As they make this a habit and look for these blessings, very soon it will become their reality. Each night before they go to bed ask them to ask themselves this question. What am I grateful for today?

Teaching gratitude to children by reading gratitude stories and gratitude poems can be a powerful way of instilling in them the powerful principles of showing gratitude.

Here are some things to keep in mind to develop the attitude of gratitude:

Express Gratitude.

When we are grateful we need to express gratitude. If we don’t bring to our awareness and experience the gift of gratitude we will start to take things for granted, complain, find fault and focus on what we don’t want or don’t have rather than all the things that we do have.

The Law of Attraction and Gratitude.

When you are in a state of gratitude you are resonating and sending out a frequency of acceptance and harmony, and as a result you resonate at a much higher vibrational frequency which is what attracts to you the events, conditions, and circumstances that you desire.

A Grateful Heart.

There’s a beautiful praise song that I recall singing years ago called Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart that came to my mind this morning. I asked myself what it means to have a grateful heart. I realized that it begins by reflecting and contemplating on gratitude.
Gratitude Quotes, Gratitude Stories, Gratitude Poems.

When we express heartfelt gratitude for what we have it opens the doors to abundance. One way is by reflecting on gratitude stories, gratitude poems and gratitude quotes which will help us make a subtle shift in the way we perceive life, and helps us to stay on track and move forward.
And now I would like you to claim your FREE Instant Access to 2 of my audios "3 Keys on Manifesting & Universal Laws" with our Vibrational Ezine when you visit http://peacefulinterlude.com

Enjoy the gift from Brenda Blindenbach, the Possibilities DNA Expert.
PeacefulInterlude.com


]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/what-is-my-purpose-anyways.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/what-is-my-purpose-anyways.html Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:49:28 -0500 Have you ever woke up in the morning and asked yourself "What am I here for? What is my purpose?" What am I even doing with my life?

If you do...you're like a lot of people in this world and I'm here to tell you what your Purpose is!

Just Kidding...no one, except God himself, can tell you what your purpose is but you can look at some things that will give you clues to what you are on this planet for.

Specifically there are four things to look at.

Here's my definition of Purpose:

When you find a role where you do what you love to do and use what you're great at doing to become a solution to problems you feel called to fix. That's where you'll your purpose.

So those 4 things are:

* Passions
* Strengths
* Needs
* Calling

If you can find where these 4 things intersect you will find your purpose.

So you should be really asking:

What am I passionate about?

What do I do greatly all the time?

What problems are there out there that I notice need fixing?

What do I feel compelled to do?

And if you can find a role where those 4 things are intersecting you have found your sweet spot. The exact place you have been designed to make a huge difference in this world with the least amount of effort!

Many Blessings on Your Journey to answer the question what is my purpose
RK Castillo
http://www.definemypurpose.com/what-is-my-purpose/what-is-my-purpose

]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/treatments-and-drugs-for-dissociative-identity-disorder-did.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/treatments-and-drugs-for-dissociative-identity-disorder-did.html Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:40:48 -0600 Some of the treatments offered to a DID patient may include:
- Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dissociative disorders. This form of therapy, also known as talk therapy, counseling or psychosocial therapy, involves talking about the disorder with a mental health professional. The therapist will help patient remember and work through the trauma that triggered the Dissociative symptoms (Mayo Foundation for Medical Education & Research , 2007). The course of psychotherapy may be long and painful, but this treatment approach can be effective in the treatment of DID .
- Creative Art Therapy: This therapy uses the creative process to help people who might have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings. Creative art therapy includes art, dance and movement, drama, music and poetry. Things such as keeping a journal or creating art is also encouraged during treatment to help bring the past and present together (Baxter, 2007)
- Medications: Although there are no medications that specifically treat Dissociative disorders, Medications like anti-depressants or tranquilizers are a very common treatment method because the personalities may have anxiety or mood disorders and the medications may help control the mental health symptoms associated with the disorders. Generally medications are not recommended because maintenance and effective use of prescriptions given to multiple personality states is difficult to attain. If medication is prescribed, it should be carefully monitored (Psych Central, 2006).
- Alternative Medicines: The therapist may recommend using hypnosis, as part of the treatment for a Dissociative disorder. Hypnosis creates a state of deep relaxation and quiets the mind. In hypnotized state, the patient can concentrate on a specific thought, memory, feeling or sensation while blocking out distractions (Mayo Foundation for Medical Education & Research , 2007). Hypnosis is also perceived to be an effective treatment to uncover painful repressed memories or even to help stop behaviors carried out by alters such as self mutilation or eating disorders. Hypnosis is also used in the "fusing" process. Hypnosis is generally safe as a complementary treatment method. Some doctors also believe in botanical medicine, message, and yoga as effective treatment (Baxter, 2007).
- Self-Help: Online self-help groups are a growing trend, and individuals with DID are beginning to form online self-help support groups, in addition to the traditional (in person) self-help groups (Psych Central , 2006).
The prognosis of DID treatment is actually quite good for patients who are treated properly. It may take several years but the treatment is usually very effective (AllPsych and Heffner Media Group, Inc, 2004). Like anything else the early it is diagnosed and treated the better the prognosis. Whenever possible, the optimal aim of treatment is to move the client towards a 'better integrated functioning" (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, 2005) . Some clients may achieve complete merging of their identities into one. Others clients will not, however will successfully achieve a "cooperative arrangement among alternate identities" and greatly improve their emotional, and interpersonal functioning and employability. (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, 2005).
To continue reading for more information, please visit WEBSITE LINK:-
Treatments and Drugs
http://www.mytransformationnow.com/
]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/prevalence-and-controversy-over-dissociative-identity-disorder-did.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/prevalence-and-controversy-over-dissociative-identity-disorder-did.html Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:15:47 -0600 This increase in numbers brings about a controversy among mental health professionals. Some contend that the increase in diagnosis can be explained by the notion that the mental health community is now more aware of the diagnosis, and that this has resulted in the identification of cases that previously may have gone undiagnosed or inaccurately diagnosed (DSM-IV-R, 2000). Also, it could be suggested that along with an increased awareness of DID, an increased awareness of childhood sexual abuse may have also led to earlier, more accurate diagnosis.
An alternate view is that the recent increase is due to the over diagnosis of DID, specifically within individuals who are considered highly suggestible (DSM-IV-TR, 2000). It is clear that DID remain a controversial diagnosis. Does DID exists or not? Is it a subjective perception of the reality by individuals based on their choices or is it a result of malingering and a way of coping with social and personal situations.
From the studies that have been performed by choosing randomly among families in countries with high rate of DID occurrence and with no knowledge about the disorder results that the disorder is apparent but there is more to be done in educating the public to treat the disorder as other more popular diseases are treated.
Diagnostic Criteria for Dissociative Identity Disorder
According to the DSM-IV TR (2000, p529), the diagnostic criteria for DID are as follows;
1. "The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring patters of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self)."
2. "At least two or these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior."
3. "Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness."
4. "The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance(e.g. blackouts or chaotic behaviour during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures)."
What causes the increase of the population with DID and is this related with the socio-economic and cultural issues in certain societies with certain political systems this is a question to be answered from social studies perspective.
To continue reading for more information, please visit WEBSITE LINK:-
Prevalence and Controversy
http://www.mytransformationnow.com/ ]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/how-to-deal-with-add-or-adult-attention-deficit-disorder-both-in-children-as-well-as-adults.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/how-to-deal-with-add-or-adult-attention-deficit-disorder-both-in-children-as-well-as-adults.html Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:11:47 -0600 As you may already know, children aren't the only ones that suffer from an attention deficit disorder; there are several very intelligent adults that are currently struggling with adult attention deficit disorder as well. Even though this is nothing to be ashamed of, it is vital that you seek out treatment and help, because these two things can improve the quality of your life significantly.
Most of the sufferers have a tendency of trying to hide their condition, and because of that, over time they begin to experience low levels of self-confidence and they learn that there really is a little meaning in all of their lives. In fact, this makes the situation worse since lack of confidence would require more attention than usual. This brings about the spiral effect. In a situation where you have taken all of the active steps to learn more about the adult ADD and everything that it entails, and searched for a professional opinion, then you should find the following five ways to counter adult attention deficit disorder will be very useful for you. However, even before you apply these 5 methods, you will need to consider a fundamental issue here.
In life, people have all kinds of issues ranging from emotional issues like anger, etc to hatred for loved ones. In between, there are all kinds of issues: I don't like my nose, my color, my hair, my job, my boss, sleeping disorder, fear, worry, guilt, etc. etc.

For more information about this topic with five method please click this hyperlink.

Adult Attention Deficit Disorder
http://www.mytransformationnow.com/ ]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/co-dependency-or-kindness.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/co-dependency-or-kindness.html Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:00:34 -0600
Being of help to those you love can be very healthy and rewarding. Many books have addressed the issue of co-dependency, but it is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between co-dependency and kindness. While co-dependency is not an official psychological term, it has come to describe a type of relationship where an individual gives of themselves, even when they don't want to, or shouldn't, for their own welfare.

Here are some ways to tell the difference:
Look for Balance.

If you aren't sure about whether you are being "too kind," take a few minutes to complete this simple exercise. Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. At the top, put the name of someone close to you. In the left column, write down all the things you did last month for this person, whether they requested it or not. At the end of the item, put a large "P" for pleasure, or "R" for resentment to distinguish which emotion you really felt, in your heart of hearts, about this activity.

In the right column, list all the things they did for you, either actively or passively, whether you requested or not. Show your list to an impartial friend. If your list is weighted much more heavily on the "giving" side, then you might be selling yourself out to gain acceptance from others. Now that you've read the exercise, take out a piece of paper and try it. It'll be worth the trouble....) If you cons tly treat others better than you treat yourself, and are frequently resentful about how loved ones are treating you, consider the possibility that you are out of balance, or "co-dependent."
Listen to Your Inner Voice about "Fairness."

Given the age of the person in question, decide if you have been giving freely to this person, or out of some unspoken obligation that leaves you resentful. Worst yet, decide if you have been giving because you fear retribution (anger, pouting, threats, whining, guilt).

Remember, children are entitled to get much more than they give, that's the contract you signed when you decided to have the child. However, as they grow older, they need to learn that the world will not indulge their every whim. They must learn to expect that others have needs and wants, and relationships require negotiation. It is your job as a parent to teach these lessons.
Stop Your Usual Behavior.

If you decide you are giving when you don't want; are feeling resentment when you give, then find a way to stop. Being resentful is a sure sign that you don't want to give; even if you think the only reason you are resentful is based on the other person's reaction. If you are displeased with the other person' s reaction, then you are giving "with strings attached." This is unfair to you as well as to the other person. If you can give freely, consider not giving at all.
If You Decide to Change, Give People Warning.

Change is difficult for people to accept, as well as to implement. It is only fair to every one involved that you let them know ahead of time that you are changing your ways. Be prepared for a negative response. It's just part of the change process. People who get their way with you will probably have difficulty hearing you say, "no."
Practice Saying "No" to Little Things at Home, or With Other Family and Friends.

A good place to start is to say "no" to little things that you might have previously done because "it's no big deal," or "it just isn't worth the trouble." Go slowly, but take a stand on some things you know you can do. For example, if you feel resentment about doing your teenager's laundry, teach them to do their own. To avoid having them cost you more money, set a monthly "allotment" for clothing, and they get no more, no matter what.
Brace Yourself to Hear about How "Mean You Are" and How Much You "Don't Care."

This is the price you must pay for setting yourself free. Within a few months, they'll learn to separate their clothes correctly, and make sure they don't throw shrinkable clothes into the dryer. Often, people do things they really don't want to do, because "it's just not worth the trouble of saying no." If you really don't want to see a particular movie, if you secretly don't want to eat at a certain restaurant, stay up later than usual, drive someone somewhere, run an errand because you're too tired -- don't. (Be careful to practice this with safe people more than at work until you get better at it.)
Learn to Stand Up for Yourself in the Face of Anger.

If people get angry with you, and give you pressure through anger or guilt, hold your ground. Many people use anger, or the threat of anger, to control or manipulate their way through the world. See the ploy, and don't give in, if you are being reasonable. (Most of us know when we are being unreasonable, or "mean," if we listen to ourselves. Calmly and firmly hold your ground. The less you say, beyond what you are willing to do, the better for you and the relationship. For example, "Ok, you're right, I blew it. I'm sorry. How can I fix the situation now?" or "Let's agree to disagree. I am not willing to pay for something you decided to buy without consulting me. Next time, please ask me first."
Use the Broken Record Technique.

If the other person is being unreasonable, use the broken record technique, "Next time, please ask me first...Next time, please ask me first...Next time, please ask me first." This avoids setting yourself up for "the inquisition," because you aren't giving the other person any ammunition against you. They'll get over it, sooner or later, and you will stop being manipulated into things you don't really want to do.
Get Input from Others.

Talk to your happier friends about how they balance giving and receiving. Join a therapy or support group to get suggestions and encouragement from others. Go to CODA groups and listen to others talk about how they are "finding their own voice" in relationships. CODA meetings are free and available throughout most cities in the United States. Pick up some books on the topic.
Trust in Yourself.

Whatever you do, know that things are changing, and you don't have to live a life of quiet resentment. If you decide you are giving because it truly is in your heart to give at that moment, without fear of any kind motivating you, enjoy yourself. Giving to others can be a gift to yourself, if done for the right reasons!

Dr. Marlene M. Maheu, a Licensed Psychologist, is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of one of the largest self-help & psychology portals, SelfhelpMagazine. More articles from this author are available at http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/. Original article link: http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/co-dependency ]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/5-ways-to-help-stress-and-anxiety-in-children_1.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/5-ways-to-help-stress-and-anxiety-in-children_1.html Wed, 03 Mar 2010 02:48:29 -0600
Children are
bombarded daily with television and newspapers serving up the most
morbid of news with what sometimes seems to relish on the side. You are
lucky if you can watch the evening news without exposing your child to
a series of stories fully prepared with bloody photos and clips of
tearful family members who have suffered one form or loss or another.

Today, all too many parents are deeply upset about a sick or aging loved one; friends or family fighting in foreign wars; wounded veterans coming home after spending months in the hospital; local stores closing their doors and going bankrupt; crashing real estate, stock market and other significant investments; unstable retirement plans; unaffordable health care needs; possible or real job loss; looming foreclosure; or being evicted from a dearly loved home.

If one or more of these catastrophic events isn't happening in your home, it most likely is happening in your neighborhood ... or to a child who goes to school with your child.

Adults are having great difficulty containing their own emotions when they are around each other, and particularly when they are home, and no one else is around. Caught up in their own drama, adults at home or at a friend's house can underestimate how much a child pick up about something being terribly wrong.

It is especially difficult to be aware of the minds and
hearts of little ones listening from the top of the stairs; teens who act as if nothing bothers them; or college students who are away at school - but panicked as they watch a steady stream of classmates get sent home due to tuition payments that never arrive.

There are several things that parents can do to ward off the build-up of negative emotions in children and teens. This article will take a look at anxiety from an historical perspective, then focus on practical ways to prevent as well as dissipate anxiety when it is unavoidable.
Stress & Anxiety in Children

First, let's look at some of the research. Scientists have been conducting research with thousands of children and college students and found that stress and anxiety have increased substantially since the 1950's. In fact, one study found that anxiety has increased so much that typical school children during the 1980's reported more anxiety than child psychiatric patients did during the 1950's.

Researchers have known for a long time that anxiety in children can lead to depression. "... cases of depression will continue to increase in the coming decades, as anxiety tends to predispose people to depression," says psychologist and study author Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D. of Case Western Reserve University.

Alcohol and drug abuse are likely to increase as well, because anxiety usually precedes the onset of substance abuse.

There are also implications for physical health. Research has also found that anxious people have a higher mortality rate, probably because anxiety has been linked to higher occurrences of asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, inflammatory bowel disease and coronary heart disease.
What Can A Parent Do When A Child Is Often Upset?

When you notice that your child is more upset than usual, action is needed. Organizing action is best, that is, actions that establish or return the family to routines. Regular meal times, regular homework time, regular bedtime, regular weekend activities.

If Tuesday night is when you eat spaghetti or watch a favorite television show together, then keep to that schedule as much as possible. Make sure promises are kept, with little things as well as ig things. "I'll be in to read that story in 5 minutes" needs to be an accurate promise, and not just stalling with the hopes she'll fall asleep. If you must accomodate an unexpected demand in the evening, try to make it happen before or after the bedtime routine, and not in the middle of it.

Assuming the child is upset for a valid reason, a parent's "consistent and predictable" behavior is one of the best defenses against a child's accumulating the type of stress that can ultimately lead to physical disorders. Consistent and predictable can be as straightforward as the parent sitting down with a child in their special chair, or putting homework aside for 10 minutes every evening and rubbing your child's head , back or feet. Let them return the favor if they want.

Physical contact of a gentle and reassuring nature can go a long way toward communicating your presence and your affection. Turn off the 5 o'clock news and chat about what your child did in school today.
You might learn that they heard rumors that need dispelling. Worse yet,
you might hear that they discussed the economic meltdown and your child
needs comforting.

If you belong to a religious group, bring your children to services
routinely. if you have friends or relatives they enjoy, step up your visits. Get into a regular pattern with social activities.

Remind them frequently that no matter what, you have each other and
everything will be ok. As a country, we've weathered wars and economic
downturns and it's always worked out ok.

You probably already have a standard approach to reacting to your child's upset. Keep reading to see how you might improve it.
What Should I Do When I "Lose It" In Front of My Child?

When a parent's actions get unpredictable, children's internal alarm bells start ringing. Their hearts pump faster, their hearing and vision get more acute and they are on red alert for the next unexpected thing. They will either act up and divert attention away from someone else in the home, or they will quietly disappear.

For example, if a parent is raising their voice, banging doors, throwing things, cursing, you will typically see pets and children head for dark corners.

But internally, their alarm bells are likely to be ringing for hours. They are likely to have elevated blood pressure, stomach aches, head aches, a sense of dread and impending doom.

Even for less intense emotional reactions, children often can experience alarm. They can panic at overhearing your conversation about a problem you're having at work, or how angry you are with your spouse.
If your own emotional breakdown is the cause of your child's upset,
calm yourself down, then go find your child. Assure them that you are
ok and that they will be ok too. Explain you had a momentary "cry" and
now you are feeling better.

Assure them you will figure out a way for
everyone to be ok. Check in with them again at bedtime and then again
the next morning.

Let them know you are keeping an eye on them and have
their welfare in mind.
Use these moments to reassure your child that you will always be their
parent, you will always be a family, and they will always have a
"home," no matter where they live. "We may lose this house, but we will
always have a 'home.'"

Drawing a clear distinction between feelings and thoughts is another way to reassure your child. Teach them that emotions may temporarily rule the show every now and then, but that the most important decisions are often made with a little feeling and a lot of thought.

Map decisions on paper ahead of time and show them the paper that has your plan, or your list of priorities. Trace what comes first, then second and so forth. For example, kids often get a great sense of relief to know that they are at the top of the list of importance in your life.

Put your health at the top, because without that, you are of limited use to protect them. Show them where they are in line of importance. Give them examples, like if they got hurt, you'd leave your job and find them and bring them to the doctor, so they come before your job.

Depending on their ages, if they were sick, you'd stay home from other activities. Place your spouse, job, church, spirituality, extended family, etc.

Then ask them to draw their own pictures of who and what is important in their life. Talk to them about their choices and a few weeks later, ask them if they'd still make the same choices today as they did a few weeks ago.

Whenever and however you can, let them see that thinking is logical, has reasons, and rules your life, not momentary emotional outbursts.

Take extra steps at nedtime to re-assure them and send them off to sleep with good images. Parents can make a very big difference in the anxiety of their children
if they can take those few minutes before sleep to remind the child
they will always be loved and protected, no matter what happens.
How Else You Can Help

If your child or teen is upset about what they saw on television, heard in school, or down the street, assure them that no matter what, your family is there and they are safe. Other people may come and go, but you are going to stay with them.

If you choose to watch upsetting television news together, for example, put your arm around your child and say re-assuring things, such as, "Even though things may seem bad around the world, we are safe here. I am here and you know I will always protect you."

Even in traumatic situations, such as when your house is being lost to foreclosure, parents can be mindful of how their telephone conversation, dinner talk and casual chat with friends, family and neighbors can easily be overheard and needlessly distress a child. Parents can take extra steps, as often as possible, to confine their outrage and upset to times and locations where vulnerable children do not get expose to the parent's most raw emotions.
How to Deal with Extended Family Upset

During difficult times, extended families might need to help each other be mindful of their indirect effect upon each other and their children.

If you see a relative expressing emotions that seem to frighten a child, find a way, perhaps at another time, to let that relative know that "Billy seemed really scared when you were so upset last week."

Even if that parent gets defensive and says, "Yeah, well, Billy is just going to have to realize that life is not always so easy...." Agree with that adult about life not being easy, but perhaps mention that you've recently read information that shows that kids just aren't wired to be able to handle consistent bad news.

Their "internal emotional cushions" are just not well developed until adulthood. Your relative may not be too pleased to hear from you, but if you don't take some heat to help that child, who else will?

As described in the research cited above, if a young nervous system is bombarded with too many upsetting messages early on, the child can grow up to have excessively strong nervous system reactions without due cause as an adult, much like a child exposed to sexuality prematurely can have excessive nervous system reactions to healthy adult sexuality.

Such children then are more prone to a wide range of physical illness, including depression and drug and alcohol dependency.

Research has clearly shown that growing to be emotionally strong (resilient) isn't a matter of toughening up a child by exposing them to consistent anxiety-producing messages. It's exposing them to life's challenges slowly, bit by bit, and checking in to see how they are doing with each exposure.
5 Important Steps You Can Take

In applying these principles to raising children during stressful times might include:

1. Shield your child from overly harsh conditions, that is, excessive emotional expression, otherwise known as adult "melt-downs."

2. Make sure your child is getting plenty of good healthy food and exercise.

* While they may get junk food at school, rid your home of such foods as much as possible.
* Have weekly junk-food raids and throw out chips, cookies, candy etc. that get brought in by various factions.
* After dinner, bundle up and take an evening walk with your child.

Keep the conversation "positive" on your end, point out he beautiful sunset, talk about natural forces and make comparisons to how storms clear up and then the sun comes out.
* If they bring up concerns, ask questions first to understand them (crucial), then address their concern (not yours). Then ask them to summarize what you've discussed so you can be sure you know the conclusions they are taking to bed.

3. While parental arguments are likely to be increased during stressful times, let your children see both sides.

* If you've shown them your angry side, be sure to show that how to make peace and resume your loving, caring ways with your partner.
*

If you can't find resolution with your partner, have the courage to see a counselor, a spiritual adviser, or a family elder and ask for direction.
* Above all, put aside your pride, get help to make peace in your home and show your children that stress does not need to result in weeks of a parent sleeping on the sofa.

4. No matter what - do not pull children into disagreements with other parent(s).

* Let them be children and stay out of it until the issue is resolved.
* If they try to step in (and the usually will) politely ask them to let the adults resolve it with statements such as, "We'll let you know when we need your help. Right now, this is an adult issue and we will figure it out. You'll be the first to know what we decide."
* If the issue involves them, well - that's a whole different matter. Bedtime might be such an issue, or a curfew and school performance.
* One way to calm things down with children is to slow them down. Getting input on paper helps slow things down. Get your children's ideas and suggestions in writing.

It will lower the noise level in the room, which will help calm everyone.
* Writing will force everyone to focus, which pulls energy into thinking rather than just feeling. Writing will help kids get clear in their mind, practice their language skills and be more realistic than when they are allowed to shout out their emotional desires.
* Adults then can gather all written proposals, review them carefully, and keep plenty of time to "decide."
* When you decide, let them win the smaller isses and make sure you win the larger issues. Conceeding with smaller issues lets them know that they have a voice, they can exert personal power and have some control over some things. More control leads to less anxiety. If they get to eat corn instead of green beans, what do you care?
* Meanwhile, continue with the daily or evening routine and schedule a time to resume talks about the anxiety-producing topic.

5. If your children get exposed to adult outbursts of emotion, explicit television-based emotion, or other unpredictable triggers for excessive nervous system reactivity, do what you can to come back around and "cover them."

* Cover your children with consistent daily and bedtime routines that include soothing and comforting statements.
* Mention your concern and love for them, and remind them that they can count on you even if you too, are frightened.
* Most of all, they need to know that you are there, they can hang onto you, and you will protect them. Your presence is crucial, whether it is your physical or simply your emotional focus on them.

No matter what is happening, even if you are forced to only speak to them through a telephone or internet connection at bedtime, you can "cover your children" with your time, attention and affection.

Dr. Marlene M. Maheu, a Licensed Psychologist, is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of one of the largest self-help & psychology portals, SelfhelpMagazine. More articles from this author are available at http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/. Original article link: http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/anxiety-in-children ]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/i-think-i-can.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/i-think-i-can.html Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:57:22 -0600
he could.

You’ll remember that he was faced with a steep hill in his journey – much

steeper than any he had encountered before. But in spite of this, the little red

engine believed he could make it.

And so he sat on the railroad tracks, spinning his wheels and affirming and

visualizing himself cresting the hill in a puff of self confident glory……maybe a

little huffing and puffing here and there and possibly looking around for a

group hug or 2.

No – we all remember that that little engine thought he could, reversed back up

the track, took a run and almost made it. We’ll also remember that he changed

his approach a little, backed up the track again and took another run at it –

all the time chanting – “I think I can – I think I can”.

Eventually he made it.

The role of visualization and affirmation, confidence and support. Well perhaps

they played a part but the real triumph occurred because the little engine took

action in spite of the difficulties and achieved because he continued the

activities necessary to achieve.

The lesson I learned from the little red engine is that everything else is

simply a waste of time unless the necessary action is taken and maintained until

the job is done. In fact the activity can get the job done even if there is a

lack of confidence, no affirmations and no visualizations. Can you imagine

asking all of the family in the vacation car to visualize arriving at the resort

but never starting the car. Pretty soon even the dumbest kid is going to point

out the basics of physics. Everyone understands that it requires a foot on the

gas peddle and no amount of positive thinking is going to move anyone anywhere.

And so when managers ask me to work with their staff on visualization and

building confidence I always ask if the activities necessary for success have

been identified. And if so are they carried out effectively. Are they managed

and measured and repeated.
If the answer to all of those questions are positive then success becomes

inevitable.

So if you have a job in front of you – and you don’t know what to do or whether

you can get it done, break it down into small, manageable activities and start.

And simply keep going.

And nothing breeds self confidence and a desire to climb the hill again than

success.


visualization and affirmations

http://www.kevinbauer.net
]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/guidelines-in-building-self-esteem-confidence.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/guidelines-in-building-self-esteem-confidence.html Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:26:47 -0600
Self respect is strongly determined with the thought process of an individual regarding the self and the events that happen around him. When this aspect is true, you can definitely prove that it is purely the image that has happened between your thought patterns, misaligning the facts.

Building self esteem confidence can be well built with boosting the appreciation and self confidence, with the mighty ground that you will definitely benefit from the result you are going to gain. So, start with self appreciation. The societal approach is that it adorns the extremes like the famous, rich, slim, clever, beautiful, talented, tall etc. you may be negative in one aspect of the extreme, but by Building self esteem confidence, you can catch up the other extreme with all your positive energy.

When you suffer from low self esteem, you may develop self critical habits and maintain it all through your life. You may not able to set prompt and achievable goals for your life. In Building self esteem confidence, you can make simple plans and execute it with your own decision. Self appreciation at the end is essential.

When something goes wrong, there are people who talk completely negative on themselves and complain on their fate and other environmental factors. The subconscious mind accepts your words and makes it happen, in Building self esteem confidence.

Apart from self criticism, you certainly have to ignore the non constructive criticisms from others. When a person is leaving you desperate with empty criticism, try to ignore and mentally you counteract with positive words.

Have an achievement book with you and keep recording your successes in the book with all dates and events. Even taking it in your hand can give you power in Building self esteem confidence.

Richard Köhler is an internet entrepreneur and owns various websites including one with information about Self Esteem. Feel free to visit the Building Self Esteem to learn more.
]]> http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/understanding-the-differences-between-ocd-and-phobias.html http://childdevelopmentsite.com/psychological/understanding-the-differences-between-ocd-and-phobias.html Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:11:13 -0600
But there is an extra dimension to OCD, which is the link between the obsessions and the compulsions. A person with OCD usually has a strong feeling that they need to carry out their compulsions or else some dreadful consequence will ensue, and almost always they also feel that they must do their compulsions in a certain way, like a ritual.

So, if you are afraid of spiders and you need to check each room for them, then you have a phobia. If you feel that letting a spider be in the room is likely to bring bad luck, or harm to yourself or your family, and if you also check the room in the same way each time, then you have OCD. Similarly, someone who is anxious about the security of their home might double check that they have locked the door, whereas someone with OCD might check repeatedly, locking and unlocking.

OCD can exist alongside other Anxiety disorders, for example social and health phobias, and also depression.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

This is caused by exposure to danger or abuse. It is classified as an Anxiety disorder although it relates to events that have happened in the past rather than fears about what may happen in the future. Most people who experience traumatic events such as road/rail/air accidents or incidents involving violence can expect to have at least some disturbing physical and emotional reactions associated with shock and horror.

Usually these are short-lived. Support from family and friends, with possible short-term professional help is usually enough to help them through it. A very few people go on to develop PTSD, where they continue to have strong reactions over a long period, usually feeling that they are re-living the trauma and unable to resume their normal lives.

PTSD needs professional treatment so we don't recommend attempting self-help.

Children and young people

This site is intended for use by adults dealing with their own Anxiety. Where children are concerned, although they may be having problems which show many of the same features as adult Anxiety disorders, we do not recommend trying to adapt a self-help approach without getting advice.

Most children go through phases when they are frightened of particular things - these are part of their normal development and are usually outgrown. If problems do persist way beyond the expected age or cause severe disruption to the child's everyday life and forming of relationships, some professional help and guidance may be needed.

It is advisable to get a proper assessment which takes into account the child's general health, overall development and any factors within the family or environment which might be contributing.

Keeping an anxiety diary

It's time to get out your notebook and start keeping a diary. An Anxiety diary is a simple record of your anxious feelings day by day. It's important that you write down your Anxiety scores at least twice a day, but there is no need for you to try to account for every minute of the day. But don't leave it till the end of the week and then try to remember everything, because you won't remember accurately enough.

Even doing it every day you will find that you tend to record the bad times, and ignore the comparatively good times. The important thing is to learn to assess your Anxiety by scoring it. Be honest, only you will ever see the diary.

Get these free tips for overcoming anxiety attacks and finally learn how to conquer your anxiety symptoms once and for all. ]]>